im just a player of god that create diary here...

another game

2009-11-07T17:56:00.003+08:00

in my list...

you will owys be number 1....

i will never say no when u r have any request...

no matter how ridiculous the request is...

no matter how tired m i..

i will be thr just to full feel everything u nid...

i will never say no...

unless the request will harm ppl or urself...

but bear in mind.

im a human too......

i cant be thr 24 hours...

i am not a perfect human..

i do mistakes as well...

im a daughter of mymom...

im a fren to others as well...

i dun c any speciality for me to do so much of things for u....

neither u appreciate everything i have done for u...

maybe im tired...

maybe just too much i have done for u as a fren....

maybe i nid a rest or a full stop for doing so much for u....

cz....

i dun c a smile or i dun get a thank you from u....

im not hoping much..

bcz i do everything for u...

WILLINGLY...

i do it happily...

just to make u happy...

n yet...

arghhhh.....

now i realize....

some fren reli treat u as fren..thats y they give in so much..

some frens just will take in the "give in" by the fren...

no appreciation...no paying back..

that will owys lead to a break of a ship...

yes- the frenship....

not going to bother u....not going to do anything for u...

chances have been given..

yet.....

.........................................

being a lazy bug in the house due to the sem break....

oh yea...

too boring.....

dramas and shopping are the only thing i can do to waste my time...

muahahaha...

not forget -reading news to update myself..

talking about news....

i have read 1 article from news paper...

there are many many rumours spreading around that...

the doom day will fall on the year of 2012...

this is because some popular write have stated the calendar until the 21/12/2012...

and nomore further date....

which represent or bring another meaning that..

the world has no more "day" after the particular date...

hence....

conclusion have made by those funny ppl that...

the world...the earth is going to say bye bye...

i told 1 of my best gila fren-tiff about my philosophy towards dooms day...

she said- u r reli mad....and i dun understand what r u talking about...

maybe...my imagination is too over..

or i have my own thought..

im abit xiao..

or very xiao...

but thats just me..

muahaha....

phone already kena cancer...

slowly dying due to my careless...

i din give my phone any chemotherapy...

cz too expensive...

i would rather my phone die peacefully w/o any side effect...

dun let the hair drop lo...

dun let my phone vomit.....

"CRAZY" - i knw u guys scolding..

hahahahaha...

planning to find the next of keen for my phone..

E71 is my 1st choice...

but my wallet the boss dun allow...

hahahaha..

stil saving for it...

wallet wallet....

plz la...

zhang hei abit!

xian ar

2009-10-06T05:41:00.002+08:00

having my 2nd last paper in the afternoon...

waking up in the morning is just so torturing...

how i wish i can sleep until the time i want...

w/o the disturbance of alarm...

my housemates all are sleeping soundly...

except me who is here reading the notes of testes and ovary...

blame myself for being lazy and playful...

wasting all the time sleeping and Fb-ing...

alot things happened recently...

some do affect my mood drastically..

some, i just take it as ntg...

hope everything will go smooth...

i dun wish to have so much of prob...

especially in frenship which i treasure very much...

i dream alot nowadays..

especially after i discuss about the migration to uk to stay with my sister with my dad..

but everything has to be firm after my 1st degree here..

im planning to walk a way that is out of my mind..

leaving all my frens and family behind here..

going out thr alone..

will i regret i wonder?

i guess i will stick to my favorite brand slogan- just do it..

hahahaha....

maybe im just that feelingless...

as what my best fren say---

U CAN JUST LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND AND DO WHAT U LIKE...

i wish what she said is true..

then i need not to think much in everything i do.

think of this fella's feeling..

that fella's feeling...

y must i think of ur feeling when u dun even bother mine?

im soft-hearted i admit...

but i guess..

fibrosis has form firmly in my heart that i feel..

i dun12 give U any chance to hurt me anymore...

mind U?

get out of my life n stop asking me to obey ur order...

duh......geram!

wah...

blog- gas tong....

feel better after bla-ing..

im going back to testes n ovary...

wonder why this ppl got so many disease...

i wanan dump u

2009-09-28T22:28:00.002+08:00

why out of such a big would, i will like a person like you?

make myself such a slave...

make myself such an idiot..

make me feel im worthless...nt even worth a cent...

how much i wish that i can just leave u..

how much i wish that i can just dump u aside n be a happy lone ranger..

but too bad...

im just a very very bad parasite that must stick to u...

im learning..

learning how to hate u..

learning how to say-im leaving u idiot...

i wish i can just leave u...

i wish i can..

i hope i can...

plzz...god bless...

let me have the determination....

i wana leave u!

justice plz

2009-07-22T19:41:00.002+08:00

hot news recently is about teo beng hock who is being killed...
when i received the news...
the 1st thing i thought of was.....
"my god...he kinda good looking guy"...
the next thing was- he is dead now....
i dint reli care about the news until my coursemates talk 2 me...
and she told me tat he was suppose to marry soon...
i was kinda shock n sad for him...
but what to do?
its facts that he passed away....
with his "wife" pregnant 2 months old....
n the child will be born without an identity....
how he passed away?
this is the answer tha the whole nation wanna knw....
but the answer will never reveal...
unless he come back alive....
every1 knw thinks that he was being killed by ppl...
but thr's no prove...
i knw alot of them being emo n angry when this "fact" happen n ntg can b done...
honestly..
i was kinda emo for the few days...
i was thinking...
isit this world will nvr have truth?
even a person who u love may just lie to u....
what about ppl who is ntg or no relation with u?
everything came just so sudden...
reli ntg can be done....
forensic?
forensic medical officer?
police?
investigator?
wat else?
when u treat ppl sincerely..
do u get wat u want?
every 1 say: do it sincerely n dun expect for any pay back...
oh god...
plz......
yes...... we can be so tenderheart to help with sincere heart....
but wat if the person we help dun even apc?
emo is the word i can decribe myself now...
not bcz my mood is nt good...
but im reli tired of the face of human being around us....
how i wish...
i can just runaway and have a nice place to b myself...
i just 12 be myself....
when can i earn my money?
when can i just go away?
without thinking of ppl behind me?
conclusion?
we r the players of god.....
we nid to walk n follow the pathway has been set...
no other way...

when death approach!

2009-06-22T08:56:00.001+08:00

在我最后一次

闭上眼睛之前

我想对你说我爱你

在你怀里

舍不得放弃

心里有千万语还没说给你

听我使劲全力

不想闭上眼睛

这次告别就不能再相遇

不能再陪你

但不要忘记你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

先走了去了好远的地方

不能再陪你看日出

等不到天亮

所有回忆没去却并不容易

生死由天决定不要太伤心

在我最后一次

闭上眼睛之前

我想对你说我爱你

在你怀里舍不得放弃

心里有千万语还没说给你听

我使劲全力不想闭上眼睛

这次告别就不能再相遇

不能再陪你但不要忘记

你曾经答应我你会好好活下去

我永远爱你

have repeated listen to this song for duno how many times..

from this song i can feel the fear of death..

its true that when death is near...

a person will appreaciate everything around them.

thats is with condition that, she / he knew that the time is there...

but what about human that face that w/o any notice?

just like a person just collapse in a second due to sickness which is unknown?

a person who died because accident?

they dun even have a chance to say anything to their next of keen...

so sad for them...

i remember very well..

when i was having my so call practical in forensic department...

the deceased was just able to lie on the bed...

and the relatives just can cry and cry n cry...

what can they do?

they cant wake the deceased up anymore...

they can say " hey, tmr lets have a drink"

they no longer can feel the warmness of the deceased...

the next thing they going to face is , they going to lost the body

after the lovely soul of a deacesed..

this doesnt happen to old ppl...

even a person who is just 21...

nothing is impossible..

im not promoting adidas...

what i said is true...

i have seen many different cases...

you may say im tough to face all these cases or deceased...

but what if that person is my dearest family or my friends?

*touch wood*

i dont wish to think of it...

im scare..

im worry to lose any1 around me...

but i stil have to face it...

because everything has been set...

as i said..

we are just the players of god...

when HE say its time to go..

we cant say anything....

the only thing that we can do during our colourful life..

is appreciate every1 you love...

spend more time with them equally..

ofcourse dont spend time with ur bf/ gf only..

what about your frens?

what about ur family?

think about it..

to ppl who thinking to suicide...

plz.....

think twice...

there is nomore turning back like how u drive...

u no longer can c the sun, u hate so much..

the thunder that u r afraid of...

what u face will be things that the alive human cant c....

hmmmm..

after this post..

i wonder stil can i be a forensic medical officer?

or its normal to feel ntg when ppl die..

but nt the 1 you love?

to every1 i love n i know...

I LOVE U!!!

hahhaa....

gelinya!

hug everyone u love...

let ur love flow tru their body!

life is roller coaster!

2009-05-18T19:48:00.000+08:00

my brother inlaw- life is not a straight line..

i believe this...

because no matter how rich or poor you are..

you will still need to face the obstacles that god set to test you n me..

when u r happy at this moment..

u might be sad at the nex moment..

ntg is perfect..

all we need to do stil is stil we need to learn how to be independent ..

and dont listen to others words that might hurt u..

after mixing around with different people in different stage and different background..

i realize...

i turn to be more positive thinking instead of negative...

thank god that he lead me to this T3...

i have the best family ..

i have the best mates to accompany me when im down..

i have the best kai "pet dog" who will make me smile when i look at him..

i know it sound weird..

but. heaven its true..

hopefully, the problem im facing now can be solved as soon as possible..

with the best way i wish so much!

i know im nt the most sincere people who pray..

but this time i pray really hard like how i wish to pass my clinical biochem.

hehe..

okok..

forget about the sad stuff.

let god decide...

my life

2008-12-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

its in a new sem again....
this is a very heavy sem...
til i cant breath eventhough im free...
always nid to further study on wat my lecturer has taught..
have to do assignment...
have to owys make myself ready for question...
even in the class..
im not dare to yawn or look either left or right..
im just like a puppet in the class..
i love to talk..
i love to joke..
i love to make the class laugh..
i love to interact..
but this sem,...
all this stupid thing i can only do it in pathology lab..
n this made me really inlove with patholgy..
infact..i like pathology before i study the subject...
was having my holiday..
busy working that time..
no time to spend for any interesting trip or spend with my frens..
not only because of my heavy schedule..
but..
my car had admitted into workshop due to accident..
aiks...
i miss my car...
i miss the seat..
i miss the steering..
i miss the air con..
i miss the pedal..
i miss everything..
i just wish 6553 come back 2 me asap...
haiz....
during the holiday...
many things happen..
and it really made me feel love can be sweet n the best damn thing in the world..
it also can be evil in the same time..
looking 1 of my fren..
turning so down because of the partner...
n yet.....
the partner...
gosh...
i reli speechless...
if im reli in my fren's situation..
i will reli talk to the partner n say " out u go"
too bad my fren is just tooooo soft hearted...
everyday i will receice my fren's call..
telling me how suffer..
asking me what to do...
telling me how to survive...
asking me alot of stupid question...
wat can i do?
to advise to dump the useless fella? or advise to get back?
both are my fren..
n i just can give a neutral advise...
feel so useless...
n i reli cant do much....
i just hope both of my frens to b happy...
time pass very very very fast...
1 moment of sadness...
1 moment of happiness..
1 moment of busyness...
1 moment of lazy-ness..
will really bring all ur time towards the pass...
nothing we can do to bring back the time we have wasted...
but it seems alot of ppl will only realize that when they are losing some 1..or they are in the stage of going to another step..which end of their life...
in this year i din reli do alot of tings..
but im glad that i have explore to different stage...
explore to a stage tat i nid to stand by my own when i face some problem...
explore to a stage that some ppl are reli ur true fren.
im glad i knw that i can b alone without any 1's support 1ce i reli can earn my own money..
im glad that i can b myself..
im glad that i beat down my anatomy lecturer and defence my fren...
all these are the things that lead to maturity?
i duno...
but at least i have came to this stage...
i wont be a timid gal when i face problem..
i wont shiver alone when i face problem..
i knw i have some 1 to support me nomatter how...
i knw how 2 handle all the craps...
i dun like the feelings of being bully..
i dun like when the truth ccant b revealed...
i know this world ntg name as fair..
but atleast i will try my best to get wat i shud...
i knw in the future i might face difficulties...
but yes...im going to fight to get wat i should..
im sorry 2 tana's mom that i have washed tana's brain...*tana will knw y*
hahahaha...

at last...
me n you...
will both of us back to the time when we really appreciate each other?
can we just stop argue?
can we just stop hurting each other?
i duno...
i only knw...
my tears will flow not because of immunological reaction..
but it will flow because i feel the pain in my heart when we argue..
aiks..
dun wish to continue talking about u n me..
hopefully u understand..
i stil appreciate u in the heart sincerely..

life is really short...
i dun lie..
im not crapping here...
my uncle just admitted hospital because of stroke...
my aunt almost got stroe because she cant accept the fact...
just like my blog title..
im a just a player of the god...
if the god 1 me to die..
i will surely die..
if thhe god 1s me to die with all the pain...
surely i will get it...
charity...
help more ppl..
die with no regret..
thats all i can advise...
and of cause..
live healthy..
dun simply go n find hooker..
dun simply eat at hawker stall....
hahahah....

i want u back

2008-09-10T07:34:00.001+08:00

there is time when you feel everything is sour..
everything is dull...
everything seems helpful....
that is the time when evil thing will close your eyes with all kinds of attractive things...
by that time you wil make a decision which is insane...
it depends on you whether you wanna to be good then you have to be very strong in yourself..
i have been in this situation whenever i m havig arguement with you...
whenever i have unhappy time with you...
but when i look through all the picture with you...
i felt so wrong..
i felt im so useless that i cant remain a relationship which is so happy go lucky...
i wish to have a pathway with you which is happy...
i wish to start all over again with you....
i wish to get back the feeling of love with u...
i know u will rread this blog....
give me an answer plz...

beta-oxidation of fatty acid

2008-07-30T19:36:00.000+08:00

to get slim n thin is what most of the girl,lady even to woman's dream..
because to them that is the most best way to be "pretty"...
they have choose many ways to get rid of the fats which have accumulated in their body especially fats...
and the most common way is have a diet which minus down their food intake...
yes...scientifically have proven that..this way is effecttive...
no glucose in take....
then fatty acid will take incharge to gain energy..
but the end product is getting a substance which will cause cholesterol...
the more u practise this weird diet..
the more high chances for u to get cholesterol...
anyhow the best way is still exercise..
believe me not..
swimming is the best way to lose weight....
no pain no gain...
bliv this.....

haiyoyo..this sem is so so pack..
every day this lazy girl is doing homework...
n sleep not more than 8 hours...
saturday i will owys go to the library...
sunday..will go n play badminton because my mom wants my dad to get more exercise..
even weekend i dun get to sleep until 8...
arghhh.....
nvm...
take as a positive stress....
aikzzzzz

ugliness

2008-07-05T09:09:00.000+08:00

just read the news in and review in news site and some popular blog site..

i can feel the ugliness in politics...

just discuss with my fren about it....

we just say tat hopefully non of us is in the politic site...

gosh...

y isit so dark?

all are about revenging...

yeeewwwww...

dont create so many problem which make the citizen to feel shame about it...

plz...

this world iis not about just polititian...

even a country dont get 2 be alive just bcz of you ok???

think about it.,....

you guys are childish~~

back to college...

and alot of things happen......

which i dont wish it to be happen...

but from there i learned...

really....

there are many many types of friends....

and i have a bunch of frens who i started 2 leave them when i knew actually they are nt really sincere.......

yet..i still help them much when they need something or help...

i dont mind lending my hand to them~

but....

in the recent case i face in U..

i knew...

they are nt even worth for a lending hand..

even the peolple that im not close with is helping me in that case..

but not them who i knew from the 1st sem~

disappoint is part of it..but im happy that i can see their true colours...

just that i still cant face their ugliness of being fake..

s for me..

im that kind, i dont like means i wont give a damn....

when i was having problem i was chatting with some friends who kinda close with me...

we were talking about these girls who always wearing a mask in the public..

their result is good....hmmm..pretty???ya...only the shell....but i dont feel they are..hehehe...

suddenly igot a shocking news...

ewww..

you giys really RUBBISH...

you cheated in the exam!!!

you cheated in the exam....

which actually saw by my fren....

in chinese phrase....

when you have done something wrong no matter how...

you will be caught..

hopefully you will be get caught in this major exam as you have done it uncountable time!!!!!

so what your wanna prove that you are better than me?

so what you are getting better result?

you are cheating!!!!

bio stat is such an easy paper..

which i can close my eyes and do it....

and yet you need a short note n peep on it and do it?

comon...

this cant last long...

cant last long!!!!!

when you are out in the public..

you will know~~~

and we are soon going 2 be the medical officer...

please!

you will cause death!

argh...

*sory readers..im mad cause this lady loves to compare my result with her so call god resukt!*'

im angry and im mad~~~

liar and cheater!!!

dont worry i wont lend you my special notes anymore!!!

since you will never lend to others when u have it....

ok...i feel btr!!!

i have never post a picture of mine in blog...

hehehe... show u 1 of them~~~

haha...my new spec.....

fishing in ketam

nothing is worth if you dont apc

2008-05-20T23:56:00.000+08:00

i went to the library today..
1 hour 4 me 2 relax and i choose to listen 2 songs...
1 song composed by JJ lin for the SI chuan's victims to that they can stand up strong..
meanwhile, i click on a website that i use to surf for the picture's...
trust me....im that kind of person who dont cry...
my family members mark me as reptile family..
im nt fear of dead body..
not insect..
nothing.....
except worm i admit...
but 2day....
in the public...
my eyes did really wet not by my tears but the pain that the ppl in si chuan are facing..
some how...i just feel they are so helpless....
it just came in a minute and everthing just went off that way...
1 news i read in the news paper..
it goes like this....

teacher ask the class to write about their mother as mother's day just passed...
they found 1 bag...and there's 1 essay belong to the deceased....a little girl who supose to have bright future who is now just beside the god....

" mymom is a person who has the disability to speak and to hear...
she will never fail to do the housework...
she will never dissapoint me no matter how...
i still rmr...when i was young n its time to learn...
she save all the money which my dad gave her "mydad earn just enuf 4 the family but ntg else"
she fast for a few weeks just 2 buy a video player and some CD for me to learn my kiddy song n others...
she will try her best to give me the best as the god dot give her the best..
until a few years ago...
my dad passed away because of an accident....
i rmr mymom cried loudly with the sound "wa wa" as she cnt speak..
4m the way she hug me..i know she 12 tell me..im the only person that she can rely on...
she can have hopes on...
as a person who is not perfect physically..
she has no choice but to work outside...
nomatter how ppl laugh at her...
no matter how tough is the work...
still she work day and night just to provide me the best thing...
what i can do is work hard in my studies to tell her i love her...
i will make sure i give her the best life when im grown up..

i love my mom...

lee ling~~

and buddies....
this brilliant girl has passed away...
now what the mother left is a world that hopeless and meaningless to her..
o more things for her 2 rely on..
no more things that worth for her to work hard.
what is the meaning?
who can undrstand what she feel?
money and property cant satisfy her anymore..
i guess in her heart..
she will just wish end her life n join the rest of her family in a very far place...

sometimes...
i really duno what to do just 2 tell mymom i love her...
but i know now...
treat her good everyday *im doing*
just to let her feel she is exist and she is loved by us...
i do admit im not often with her due to my studies and my social life...
but i did try my best 2 share my stories with her when mymom n me sit 2gather...
she feels the joy when we the youngster do willing to share with her...
dun feel guilty...
its not late..
nid not 2 do so much...
a little thing will do...
mom will not count much all though she has given us all her time...
so dont count of ur 60seconds..
thats ntg compare to what she has given...

just apc watever u have...

i just hope i can lend a hand...
i hope i can grad early...
so that im certified to help....
i dont 12 apply autopsy...
i just 12 see a body which is alive....

*dun cry dun cry*

hahahahahaha

earth maybe not show love..but we the human being do.

2008-05-19T23:43:00.000+08:00

just listen 2 many ppl's love life..
sometimes i do feel...love is something complicated.
what is love?
i think non of us here will interpret it in the best way.
this morning i read 1 of the news about SI chuan's earth quake..
that is..thats a girl who lost her pair of leg due to the earth quake...
from the picture i know..she suffered and she feel meaningless to be alive in this world..
but she stand up strong after her boy fren who promise her that he will marry her no matter how...
and sadly..
they were dating when earthquake happened..
just so unlucky that the wall fall down on her...
another case is...
the girl friend got trapped in the dump...
and she has lost her interest to b alive..
i think maybe due to her injury...
but her BF...
stay beside her n say
" will u marry me?"
answer me..
he repeated this for so many times...
and the girl gt rescued..
omg....
i feel so touched!!!
another news..
n this is the only news that really made my eyes wet...
a mother and her baby gt trapped in the dump...
they were waiting for rescue ..
but it just limited air and food for them...
the mother cant stand that long...
n she knew her time is there..
she took up her cloth n breast feed her baby b4 she gasp her last breath..
when the rescuer found them..
the baby is stil sucking the mother's nipple...while the mother is dead..
argh...
until the last minute..
a mother still think of her child when she know she cant make it already..
haiz....sigh...
why god want to take her life?
i really dont understand.
why there are so many of bad ppl why not them?
haiz!!!
while im blogging....
i saw alot of fren's pm wrote there is earthquake in Kl..
so i asked another fren..
she told me that sumatera had earthquake...
omg...
haiz............................

sometime i wonder..the 1 who being love or the 1 who love another person will be more happy?
i duno.
is it the 1 who mend back in the arguement put more effort in the relationship?-A
the 1 who owys being "tam" back dont put much effort in the relationship?-B
if 1 day A meet someone who really willing to do so so much for A , will A go for the person? or A will still stay for B?
complicated mind i have?
its reality...
if A really fall in love with the person..should B blame A for not being loyal?
who can give this answer? tell me!!!!

just express anger

2008-05-11T17:07:00.000+08:00

im a news pape regular reader..
gosh..i saw all the basic need of human are now announced 2 be shortage..
i reli dun understand...
why inflation will happen....
now life is already consider suffer..
i mean to av1....
no av1 is rich... not 1av is affordable for expensive food...
why the administrative of the country still increasing all the prices?
we do have the big big paddy farm...
whenever i go kedah sure i will go n have a look with that s i feel its so relax 2 look at green..
its is so so so sos os so so big..
n s i know....
the weather of our country is the best 4 the plant...
n why shortage???
why?
why avtime action only will be taken when thr's death?
when the issue is being serious?
why?
why the money is being used to other places but nt on places that can bring down the burden that is on all the citizen?
what can we do s a citizen?
shut up n blog?
just discuss it with the fren around?
argh...
i really dun feel satisfy..
why must we shut up n just accept what ever they decided?
why we cant stand u n say no?
y saying no is fault?
y telling my feelings is wrong?
u can dun take it serious..
im just expressing my anger...
u care bcz i touch ur tail man....
why we have 2 bear with all the consequnce?
u knw why thr r so many crime?
bcz they cant afford 2 get wat they want...
really sometime is the force that set by the environment..
although i reli hate thme by hurting the innocent ..
but what the choice?
who is the real criminal?
who is the real person who set up all this?
i guess u guys will knw
money we pay alot alot alt...
but end up dun use it on us...
v seldom get the benefit....
really..
roads are full of holes....
service by dos servant r slow and rude...
why must we pay them?

we are all parasit?

2008-04-21T13:41:00.000+08:00

yohoo..chnaged my blog skin to my favo colour...
thx to kenix who waste alot of her time to help me 2 edit all the things so that i can open my eyes 2 do it...
suppose 2day i have 2 attend to public health class or shud i call *public hell class* cz our lecturer just like lion who is sososo so so so extremely fierce...
all of us acted like v r in primary school more than a degree students...
stress in her class..
but no deny...
she is reli a very good lecturer...
last sunday went out with the gang 2 celebrate YF's bday..
at 1st something happend which made av1 feel odd...
but end up..
our dearest sister, TIFFANY made the situation turn well...
haha..
but poor little gal..
keep on being bully by the bday girl...
seriously...
i found that i have changed alot.
from a person who dislike outing wih a group to a person who start 2 joke in a group..
all though i still feel uneasy sometimes...
but owys TIFF will owys make the situation *hot*..
thx to her who light up my life...
i guess nt only me...
but every 1 who in the gang...
its hard 2 change by urself or just depend on ur self..
but i feel environment is the most important...
just take example of our human body...
some disease do have bcz of the family history..
but some they exist just bcz of their on bad habit..
its hard 2 avoid if 2 or more of ur family members to have diabetic or heart attack history..
but its hard 2 avoid s well if a person consume too much of sweet stuff....
every 1 in this world do come alone to the world...
but without the help of the doctor, the nurse...mother n the rest..
do v have the chance to be in this well condition?
indirectly mean that..human nid co-operation to live...
v nid help in certain thing....but nt to depend on others...

now u r just so far 4m me...
can both of us maintain s well s when both here in Malaysia?
have been a long time i dint c u but only tru web cam...
cant feel ur warmness..
cant feel how funny is ur jokes..
i wish my twinning programme is to Uk...
but..im going 2 indie or indon....
hahaha....
another 5 yrs 2 go 4 me....
n another duno how many yrs 2 go 4 u...
i dun hope time pass fast s i 12 enjoy av min of mylife..
so u n me..
gambateh ba!!!!

i have alot alot of assignment...
i wish 2 wash pallavi's brain...
hehehehe....

get use 2 a relationship or u really in love?

2008-03-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

av1 has their experience in thier love life..
some of them have the happy side..
some of them has a sad n tough love life...
but 1ce it came to an end..owys i wonder..
atually they r really sad or they actually have been sued 2 the relationship or the 1 they have been 4 long n they can let go easily?
honestly..
even i myself i cant make sure of it...
i duno how 2 differentiate love or get used to....
owys i have frens who break u..then they mend back..
break n mend break n mend...
1ce i did reaaly ask her....
actually u still love that fela so much??
she can tell me..
i duno..but im used 2 him..
gosh....
isit so hard 2 differentiate it?
now i knw it well..
realy nt easy 2 knw...
wa i knw is..
when u love PER..
no matter how sad how angry u r..
u will forgive that per easily..
but wen u r just used to that fela..
i guess...
u will get mad...
wen he / she did smt that annoyed u...
get weird wen suden nid 2 kiss or hug him/her...
feel strange with him/ her....
cant even feel the happiness that u felt b4....
wat u r feeling that time will b just....
i cant leave without him/ her..thats it....
love life is complicated.
i knew it 4m the 1st relationship..n till now....
still i cant omake it clear...
smt i just hope i wont b in a relationship..
but too bad..god just send this person 2 me n ask me 2 llove this fela so so much....
how 2 get rid of this?
no way..
is a job 4m the heaven....
haiz!!!!!!!

final

2008-02-26T16:06:00.000+08:00

in a relationship?
end again...
then mend again...
haiyo...
so headache....
but still fun to be with U la....
just love 2 b with u~~
hehe...
bought at paul smith shirt...
at rm300 above.*dun12 tell actual price..later mydad knw*haha..
dun reli liek the cutting...
but still ok lo..cz it suit my taste...
saw the paul smith shoe in green...
gosh....im in love with it so so much....
wanted 2 get it but cost me ard 1000rm...
i can buy 3 pairs of nike with it...
which 2 buy????
hahaha...
having final now...
so headache....
organic paper was ok...
but still gt a few of blanks...
sobz..........
hopfully cn score la....
but haiz~~~
haha.dun12 have so high hope.....
y i have 2 repeat wat i have studied in f6 huh??????/
sienz...
lucky have tiff's notes....
if not..i die hard hard...
ahahaha...
soon going 2 have holiday....
yeah yeah..but im going 2 work this time s i dun12 get boreed at hom by facing my laptop only...
gonna go work at my cou sis's company...
pay is nt high la..but just wana get rid of my boredom....
aiyoyo.....have 2 back 2 study adi..
if nt reli faill........
then cant get my laptop adi....
aiming 4 hp!!heheeh~~ask 4 sony but seems that the electrnic stuff inside r fragile...
s sony is nt pro in pc n laptop...
toshiba like batu..
so...still get hp btr....
heheh

ciao~~

happy cny

2008-02-11T17:19:00.000+08:00

yoh~~
cny passed so fast..
did get alot of red paxkets...
but the value in it still i duno cz owys i will wait till the last day of cny...
this yr cny is kinda fun..
cz i did spend alot of time with my family n oso my frens...
i owys bliv a yr will b btr than another yr~~
yes..indeed it happened...
was being crazy with all my frens this yr...
ofcz anson will owys wit me my so call GAY partner...
a fren who i knew for long..but not knowing each other for long..but still v r close..wat a crazy desciption....haha...zyrence...
n elly who owys will kiss my cheek~
n nt 4get tiff who owys stand by myide no mater wat hapen..
hmm..
not forgettable tha 1st day of cny..
went out with anson n zyrence...
omg.
1st time i felt the city of malaysia bcame a dead city..
no cafe is operating...
but only le classic...
went thr..
ntg special..
damn damn bored..
so zyrence decided 2 go n play pool...
n ended up we went anson house 4 alcohol..
gosh..
i wasny a good drinker..
n i was drunk...
my face n my palm were red...
n i was damn blur...
that was the time anson force me 2 do smt i dun 1 2..
hahaha....
secret among a few of us...
hopefully anson has deleted the video...
some 1 who is special 2 me was nt with me during cny..
miss U so so much...
eventou U r far from me..
but still U r owys in me..
ngiek ngiek..
sm 1 in our gang wasnt in a good condition..
sad 2 hear abt that..
cz i was in the same condition last yr...
i knw how she felt..
thats y i din giv any harsh advise..
1st time i was beign so tame..
but she was so lucky 2 hav frens ard her 2 suport her no mater how..
i rmr i was alone that time...
only anson is thr 4 me...
hopfully she can go tru this harsh time...
eventhough me n her nt very close..
but s a fren...
i do feel the heartache wen she was reli down...
hahaha...
tiff was abck in kl...
came 2 my house 4 makan..
hahaha...
still the gang love her the most...
hahaha....
lame lame post i have..
anyway..
wish av1 around me..
happy cny..
pocket full of money..
things that supose 2 b forget shud b forget..
thing shud b apreciate shud b apreciate..
try ur best 2 get wat u 1..
thats the only way 2 b succes...
hehehe...

life cycle

2008-02-03T22:22:00.001+08:00

read an story recently...the tittle is " dun angry with the 1 u love for long"..read it..i felt its really meaning full though its ntg related 2 me..i mean the story line...but still i feel av1 shud read this s the way 2 make the relationship among fren, family n the 1 u love btr...i guess alot of ppl will get mad or angry with the 1 they love often...example....t3..hahaha...and ofcz its hard for us 2 say sorry to the 1 who v close 2...*i knw u r reading n plz dun deny*...hhahaha....actually a sorry mean alot..if u dun say it wen st hapen, it may lead 2 st that will make u regret for life..recently, i argued with sm1 important 2 me...got very mad bcz of that person's sms..din wana listen 2 the explaination n i gave a full stop...this war continue abt 3days and at last i gt this mail 4m myfren....after i read it...i felt touched by it..and end up i gave that person another chance....n now, still v happily sms n chat online...cz this person nt in malaysia~~so wenu r angry with smbody...plz stay cool and think...wat is the mistake have been done by him or her?is it so serious that u cant forgive him o her?think wat if u lose them in a second?think wat if u cant see them anymore wen u choose 2 forgive them?wen u need them the most they r nt ard u anymore?GIVE more n the lord will pay u more...dun ask for more if u r nt wiling 2 give...just argue with my little sis..cz she want me 2 send her 2 the saloon...but i refused cz she told me she went last week....n actually she lied 2 me n the family abt it...n the fact is,she went out 2 have a drink with the frens...sometimes, i feel kinda unfair for her s well...being the eldest, owys parents will think v r old enuf 2 think n 2 b independent, n we r owys given the chance 2 hang out til late nite w/o being ctrl..but to the youngest 1..eventhough they r 18 or 19, still our parents will think that they r still very young n they r nt alow 2 do this n that...think carefully, they r adult s well..they shud have learn they way 2 b independent...and i just told mysis..do whatever u want,but plz dun bring us prob that lead 2 the law...(go 2 police station)u r old enuf 2 think n v r giving u the freedom...she was so happy...till i say " u btr nt 2 mix with this or that per..."the she answer me.." jie, a fren good or not is nt s wat u have listen, is up 2 me 2 decide s she has gone tru alot of things with me"duh..i was stunt.....mylittle sis really grown up...n i have 2 admit that im old..sobx...yes....i do admit...v cant judge a person just by the cover..im owys telling this 2 others but im nt doing that...well..life really change...dun stick 2 the thinking which is so oldy...give the younger generation 2 have their own freedom..dun owys tie them up...love the 1 who love u...especially family....yes...i admit i seldon=m b at hom s i have 2 study..but inmyhaert i love them very much...

life have been set.....

2008-01-30T12:43:00.000+08:00

wah wah wah~~

have been a long long time i din blog~~

ok..

i admit i did update another private blog of mine....

suppose 2 finish up my cell bio & genetic asignment...

but kinda bored...

so i use some of the time 2 update this blog which omos being abandon 4 decade~~hahaha!!

busy life i have...

study study n study...

walk, walk n walk....

i hate the walking life but i love the freedom here~~

nt being nag, not under ctrl...

but i do miss my family n especially food that mymom cook....

i wish my U is in kepong...which i can cycle 2 class....

dont laugh~~

safe the earth!!hahaah~~*trying 2 b 1 of the human who take care of the earth but i switch on aircon 24 hour~~releasing CFC....t3 shut up* hahaha!

ntg much~~

just recenlty being more close my frens~

maybe we have been away far from each other for kinda long....

went meet up, we can talk non stop....even we can chat in the middle of theroad in the mddle of the nite~

thx 2 tiff who can reli talk....

i found, its not hard 2 ake frens actually, but ofcz its nt easy s wel..

recenlty met back a fren who i have been same class with her during F3, n i admit, i dint talk much 2 her b4...

n now...gosh....i talk like an aunty who can non stop talking 4 hours with her~~

thz anson who brought us close...

thx 2 tiffany who have a good social skiils which brought all of us closer!!

but harrrrr.....they talk more 2 tiffany lea...haha...

all sayang tiffany like a small sister...

tiff, apreciate hoh...especially lau kok kok!!!

going 4 a check up due 2 my back bone prob....

ya...my watever l4 l5 bone have been delocated....

i duno wats hapening 2 me...

most probably is bcz i fell down during badminton!!

bad luck...sigh!!!!!!

hopefully avting goes well....

i dun1 2 being treated like a disable....like now..sobx!!!

pray hard 2 lord...

haiz~~

now is UR turn~~

u r now far away 4m me~~

which made me miss u day n nite~~

knwing that u n me r under PENDING..

but i wish im with u now~~

sigh sigh sigh!!!!

miss the way u care 4 me...

miss the way u worry for me...

miss the way u talk 2 me...

miss the way u scold me~~

miss the way u being serious...

n miss the way v argue~~

hehe....

i knw im super naughty..

im super demanding 2 wards u...

super trouble maker....*tease u till u cant take it*

im sorry!!!!

came back 2 m'sia asap!!!!

justlisten 2 my frens probs....

y in this world, have ppl who likes 2 snatch ppl's partner?

they are both best frens n she is so that *female dork* 2 do it..

cant imagine how this ppl is being taught moral...

i know love is blind n no such a limit of anything in love world or life...

but common sence n plz show ur morality....

dont spoilt a good relationship just because u wana hav the same feeling...

not good 2 do that dude!!!!

haiz...life is owys out of ctrl....

really nothing we can do as evertyhing in this worls has been set by the god...

and just like wat i have said...

we are the player of god.....

hahaha~~

i dun wish 2 b in the condition like wat im at now......

i dun wish 2 have a such dirty pass...

but it did hapen n i cnt change the fact....

i do hop that incident nvr hapen on me....

i do hop i can have a happy life style n nt being differnt from others...

but wat can i do?

the only thing i can do is....

accept the fact n go on with my life...

b tougher n go tru avting happily...

i tot im the only 1 of have been treated like that...

but too bad n so sad 2 heard that..no harm telling im shock 2 hear that u have been treated that

way s wel...its the secret of both of us till death....

just that u r more lucky than me that u didnt being affected by that case....

but me...its a deep deep scar in me.....n yet i cant change anything...

fuiyoh..suden being so emo~~

hahaah!!!

ok...

time 2 stop crapping~~

have 2 back with my asigment~~

if nt tmr my class rep gonna kill me~~

tmr jalan jalan cari makan with celes....

hop she will like the food i gonna intro.....

heheh~~

im getting fater adi!!!!!!

life is just like that...

2007-11-11T09:42:00.000+08:00

have been a long long time that i din blog....
haha...
sorry...busy with something else....
alot alot things have been hapenning around me...
frens betrayal....
couple breaking up...
family prob....
so n so....
sometimes...i do really thank god..
that he really bless me with avting...
ofcz...life is challenging...
alot of stuff..v must really achieve it ourselves...
ntg can be sucees when u dun meet failure..
no stress no power....
if u never feel the feeling of pain..u will never know wat is the feeling of healing..
im praying had 2 av1 besides me...
hope god bless them will power and bravery...
go thru avting smoothly....
although they are not christian..
but our mighty lord will bless all his children...
next..
i wana pray for my younger frens who are sitting for a level exam...
hope that god bless them with good memory..
so that they can memory all notes...
bless them with good health so that they can sit for the exam.....
amen......

bored sunday

2007-10-29T15:49:00.000+08:00

hehehe..yesterday was sunday..hmmm...1st sunday that i stayed at hom 4 the whole day...my mom cooked her best meal-nasi lemak...yummy...sm1 was being invited to my house..n yeah..she loves my mom's curry chicken...sotong merah..n the sambal prawns....n her sweet sweer voice really make my mom happy..n she has promised 2 help my mom during my birthday party...so happy....my mom seldom speak to my fren tha way after i was being cheated by my best mate..i guess....myfren is really good....was crazy playing with her in myroom..then v both eat in my room..hahaha....i ate all the meat s the host and she ate all the chicken skin..hahaha...im not bullying the guest...is bcz she loves chicken skin....hahaha..after awhile...mom ask myfren 2 eat the dessert...n hell..i duno wat is that but my fren can name it right after tasting it...hoho...mymom was so happy....n keep remond my fren nt 2 take sweet sweet food....haiyo...pepsi ar pepsi...u really won my parents heart..hahahaha.......n guees wat..my mom pointed all my weakness out when she was chatting with pepsi...gosh....wuwuwuw.....after that..i sen pepsi home.....din manage 2 have my nap cz my long far relative was supose 2 b at my house 4 dinner..n yay..they were late 4 1 n half n hour.....guess wat i was doing that time???haha..mydad lost his spec...i mean he has forgotten whr he left his spec...for 4 hours we were searching 4 it..infact i just spend my 10 min..they dun bliv that i can find it....dad n mom...dun 4get my aim..i wana b in the medical forensic field...hahaha....ntg much about my bored sunday except eat n eat,.....wish my nex sun will b btr..muahahaha....

crazy nite

2007-10-28T18:03:00.000+08:00

im back....kinda busy for the pass few days....so din really have time 2 blog...SY..sorry hoh..promise 2 update it..but at last i din.....last friday....was a really bored day..din date any1...nobody date me s wel....staying at hom like a lamer....lying on the sofa...till my sis, CY said that im a lazy worm..after awhile....vampire conversation suden appear..n ask me out 4 dinner at bangsar...after that conversation..my another fren ask me out 2 join them in jusco kepong..n i went...gosh..vampire told me that she will be fetching me around 7...i told by 6 i can b ready to go hom n change then wait 4 her arrival..but....aiks...at abt 5.30..i got a call...

vampire: im coming now..
t3: huh???i tot suppose 2 b 7?
vampire: that will b our dinner time...
t3: ok la....

after 5 min..
t3: i dun think im available 2 reach hom at that time...i think u beter fetch me in kepong..
vampire: better still..haha..ore fong bin...
t3: deal..

honestly...i realy regret that i din go hom...its was a cocktail party of martell..gosh..av1 is in formal...only me....sob.. T.T.....if i would have notice it early...i will b in long sleve n long pants...
all the bf wnt thr with their sweet..pretty..tall..slim...elegant gf....vamire and the rest start discussing abt it..hahaha..wana b slim like them..hahaha.....i was enjoying the view..and the environment...okok la...just dun really like the smell of smoke.....the foos was okay...but...v all do not really know how 2 apreciate the food....especially the appetizer..bt still i manage 2 eat part of it...except the raisin ofcz..then come the main course..its good n nice..then the dessert is bravo...yummy.....i wasnt really close with rachel and tracy..v just had normal talk..owys the alcohol will make the situation change..i bcam drunk....i start 2 talk alot with them..my face turn so so so red till my cou laugh at me that ..nex..i gota b very popular...cz red="hung" in mandarin= "hung" in canto=popular...then v keep on snap pics..and keep on joke....non stop..it end quite late...thankx 2 rachel who i newly met and so kind of her that she fetch me hom..............very relax 2 b with this gang...though im the youngest..but yay....im the most serious 1...hahaha....hop 2 join u guys again..n dun 4get vampire..i owe u a meal....

the place v dine is at bangsar..rick's cafe which is just beside 1 bangsar.....nt bad...can have a try if any 1 drop by thr....

back

2007-10-26T00:02:00.000+08:00

yeah...finnaly im back.......previous page have some prob...so now with a new link....hop 2 share withu guys about myself more...